Blake Judd: That was intentional. People were expecting another psychedelic black metal record. But that would go against the history of the band. We could have created another psychedelic black metal record. But I didn’t want to do that. I went into this one thinking I wanted to do something different and not predictable. I didn’t know what I wanted for the end result; I just knew I didn’t want it to sound like Assassins.
Addicts open up with the song “High on Hate” like Assassins opens with a more fierce black metal song. Do you do that to prime listeners before you start throwing more experimental music at them?
To a degree. I got so much grief from people on the last record about “not being black metal band.” And I’m not proclaiming to be. But it’s part of our history and we can play pretty good f—ing black metal songs.
What about “Nightfall” and “No Funeral” making good on your professed love for bands like Killing Joke?
“Nightfall” is like a Queens Of The Stone Age song, drums vocals and rock and roll. It’s about as rock and roll as you can get. “No Funeral” definitely leans on industrial music. But what everyone keeps thinking is a keyboard is actually a guitar. They way it’s mixed makes it sounds like a synthesizer.
You spend a better part of your life on the road. Is it challenging?
Yes, and a lot of Addicts is about that. A lot of people affiliate it with drugs because I’ve openly discussed that and I’ve done my fair share of them. But what Addicts is really about is being addicted to this kind of lifestyle.
My dream growing up was to be in front of a stage with thousands of people in the crowd and making records. My heroes were people like David Bowie and The Beatles when I was little. That’s what I always wanted to do. But I probably went into the wrong genre if I wanted to experience that full-scale (laughs).
It’s challenging when you are gone all the time. Say you are in a relationship or have a job…it’s hard to have both.
It’s like an addiction to a lifestyle.
Yes, and it comes with a lot of highs and lows. I dated a woman for almost 10 years. I was gone a lot of the time and with the things associated with this lifestyle our relationship dissolved.
I went through a year of the most miserable (crap) I’ve ever dealt with trying to get over that. I didn’t know who I was because I’d been with her since I was 17. We broke up a year and a half ago. It was the only thing in my life I had to come home to, my only foundation. Everything else was wild and chaotic. But I always knew I could go back to my home and my normal life. And when that was gone I spun out of control. I went on the biggest drug bender I’ve ever seen anyone go on. I’m lucky to be alive. I lost 50 pounds in eight weeks, it was nuts.
In the ten months following that, I was absolutely miserable. I couldn’t keep focused, couldn’t eat. It took me 14 to 16 months to pull myself together. In the wake of that year I conceptualized this record. I totally love this lifestyle, and that’s the sick thing about it. It is an addiction. I’m addicted to something that’s not good for every aspect of my life and can push the most fragile thing over the edge.
When you were on the long bender do you have any memories of what happened? What pulled you out of it?
Well, I blew $20,000 on cocaine in like three months. I stayed up for days on end. I basically lost contact with reality and with myself. Talking to me during that time was like talking to a vegetable. It was a pretty dark time.
Was there anyone who said you have to pull it together or did you just decide to pull yourself out of that dark place?
I remember it well. Have you seen the movie Office Space? The scene where the guy wakes up and realizes he doesn’t give a (crap) anymore? I realized I was over it and needed to move on, and things started to move back to normal.
I’m not a drug addict, and I was behaving like one for a while. I felt like I had a lot to offer people and friends. It was weird; I sort of got it together naturally. And I’m glad I did because I was on the path to killing myself. Had I continued abusing myself I would have been an overdose casualty or had a heart attack.
As a result have you calmed down on the road with partying?
I completely stopped doing cocaine. That was what really caught me then. There are things I would do on cocaine that I would never do otherwise. I was completely out of control. I was a danger to myself and people around me.
You’ve heard the story about when we got kicked off the Opeth tour?
Yes, I remember that…
That was right in the middle of that time. Before we left for the tour I told the band they were nuts for taking me on the road. I said we should cancel the tour. I told them they were playing with fire because I wasn’t with it and was out of my mind. It wasn’t a good time.
Sure enough, I blacked out at the Palladium in Worcester, Massachusetts. All I know is that a window got broken and a beer tub with about 20 pounds of ice went through it and almost hit 100 people near a tour bus. It’s nothing I’m proud of. I’m lucky that it didn’t break someone’s neck. I could have wound up dealing with some pretty bad consequences as a result.
Were you able to put rest to some of the demons through writing the material on Addicts?
Every last note on the record is me letting it all out. I needed this album. It was like taking all the toxins out and letting it go in the form of music.
I’m happier now then I have ever been in my life. My life is back on track and I’m having fun. I still go out and party and have fun, but it’s more like celebrating. It’s not like needing to escape reality. I don’t need to blast myself onto another planet for three days. Those days are behind me and I hope to never deal with something like that again.
You often release EPs before your bigger albums; are those used to test ideas or just fun projects for downtime?
Worldfall was like a demo for what I wanted to do with Assassins. Doomsday Derelicts was recorded with the touring lineup we had in place at the time. We tried to capture the spirit of a European tour on an album. It was fun and there was no deeper meaning behind it.
Other times, we try ideas out. Worldfall was the first time we ever went into a real studio. Everything before was recorded in living rooms, basements and bedrooms. Worldfall sort of helped us check out the studio.
Do you ever listen to stuff released before Instinct: Decay anymore?
Once in a while I might be drunk or baked at my house at 4 in the morning and say “I’m going to listen to Reign Of The Malicious” (laughs).
Why did you change the band’s logo?
We didn’t change the logo, that’s just the artwork we used for the cover of the new album. It’s for the cover of Addicts, just like Assassins had the big bubble letters. It’s not our official logo.
Do you think the black metal scene has played itself out? Has something that was supposed to champion individuality led to conformity?
Absolutely. It’s so funny the flack that I catch. I’ll look on the forums now, these elitist forums. There was a six-page thread talking about how I’m a faggot because of my haircut! Then I thought, there are 30 men sitting at a computer discussing another man’s fashion choices. It’s kind of ironic.
But who cares? Black metal to me always represented freedom, be your own leader. Doing what someone else has laid out is no different than following an organized religion or political party. You are agreeing with someone else’s standard. That’s not what black metal represents to me. At the end of the day I think we’re the most black metal band in the world, because we do what we want and we don’t care what people think. It’s to make me happy and the artists I’m playing with happy. It’s exactly what we want to do, and it’s working. So to get grief from these people is almost comical.
People like that are also making us the subject of conversation. We don’t force them to listen to the music or talk about it. These people end up bringing us even more attention.
